How long has it been since you washed your hair?
A couple of months I guess.
Yuck. I can’t believe how unhealthy your hair is.
Unhealthy? It’s dead. They’re dead skin cells. Any advertisment that’s telling you you need healthy hair is nonsense.
Hair stops being alive a millimetre below the scalp.
Honestly, it’s like spraying lacquer over a cadaver. ’Grandpa’s dead but the spray-on laminate has stopped him rotting too quickly’.
In fact, so far as society is concerned, the less life in your hair the better.
Which brings me to my next point.