 How long has it been since you washed your hair? A couple of months I guess. Yuck. I can’t believe how unhealthy your hair is.   | Unhealthy? It’s dead. They’re dead skin cells. Any advertisment that’s telling you you need healthy hair is nonsense. Dead? Hair stops being alive a millimetre below the scalp.  | Honestly, it’s like spraying lacquer over a cadaver. ’Grandpa’s dead but the spray-on laminate has stopped him rotting too quickly’. In fact, so far as society is concerned, the less life in your hair the better. Which brings me to my next point.   |