 Enter the Matrix. In the war to save Zion, what part will you play?  |  The part where I don’t die and get to have sex with all the chicks.  | Except for the fuglies of course.Of course, Neo Greaseboy.  |
| Enter the Matrix. In the war to save Zion, what part will you play? | The part where I don’t die and get to have sex with all the chicks. | Except for the fuglies of course.Of course, Neo Greaseboy. |
| You remember my quantum physicist friend Alex? Well I borrowed one of his devices.Borrowed?Stole! Anyway, Apparently it can send an individual to an alternate reality. | Ba-ZiT! Oops.  | Meanwhile, 0.328 universes away Qua-PoP! Where the fuck am I?  |
Monique, my Love, it’s me, Parallel Tyler.Wait, You know you’re from a parallel universe?What? No? That’s my name, Parallel Tyler. What’s wrong dear? You seem disoriented. | I think I’m in the wrong place.Here, sweetie, take my credit card. I just put some more cash on it. Go buy yourself something to cheer you up. I,... wrong,... place,.. I,.. | Do you want to take the Corvette or the RX7? Snatch I love you honey! |
Universe 0.328 Are you happier now you’ve spent some money and had a drive?Very, I’m so glad that I’m where I should be, Parallel Tyler. | And can I just say that you’ve been so pleasant in the last couple of days, like you really appreciate me.Like I know how bad the alternative is maybe.We’re both so lucky. | Meanwhile in our universe,.. (sans pants) *sob*So,.. Very,.. happy!!  |
Our Universe Okay, If I destroy the device she should never be able to return.Bash! | Qua-Pop! eep!Who said that? | No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!Oh NO!Send me back, SEND ME BACK!! |
| How long has it been since you washed your hair?A couple of months I guess.Yuck. I can’t believe how unhealthy your hair is. | Unhealthy? It’s dead. They’re dead skin cells. Any advertisment that’s telling you you need healthy hair is nonsense.Dead?Hair stops being alive a millimetre below the scalp. | Honestly, it’s like spraying lacquer over a cadaver. ’Grandpa’s dead but the spray-on laminate has stopped him rotting too quickly’.In fact, so far as society is concerned, the less life in your hair the better.Which brings me to my next point. |
| You’re home early. I thought you were meeting an old friend for drinks?Nah, she blew me off. | | The saucy minx.In your dreams, monkey boy. |