 Why do we say ’As happy as a Clam’?Because they’re always smiling  |  | Because they’re not married to you.You couldn’t let it go, could you? |
| Why do we say ’As happy as a Clam’?Because they’re always smiling | | Because they’re not married to you.You couldn’t let it go, could you? |
Where has the romance in our relationship gone?Let me think. |   | Well?It’s not on page seven. Let me check page eight. |
| Do you know what happened to my crystal decanter?Do you recall that fight we had? | Which one?The one where I got hit in the head with a crystal decanter | ah,..  |
| What would you do if I had an affair?I’d build snowmen with Joseph Stalin. | That makes no sense!It makes perfect sense. I’d have to be dead... | ...and for someone else to sleep with you, Hell would be under six feet of snow. |
| This coffee is awful. Taste this.No thank you. | Who made it? Me.What did you use for a filter? A dirty sock?  | Your dirty sock, actually. Maybe now you will remember to pick up filters after work.At least it wasn’t your sock.That was yesterday’s pot. |
| My dog has no nose....You don’t have a dog. | Ok then, YOUR dog has no nose. | |
| Beware the fetid donkey cheese! It consumes with a hitherto unknown passion for the art of kanly. | Beware the wife with the hitherto unknown passion for dropping acid in her husband’s morning coffee. | Mmmmm....Snozberry. |