I understand that ’normal’ is a relative term but your family gatherings are just... so... completely... fucked!
That’s a fair comment. I must say that when I was a young lad, I would dream that my midget, trapeeze artist, biological parents would whisk me away one day to a life of high flying adventure in the circus.
Your cousin Will has changed though. I remembered him as being...
I was going to say, a bit alternative but yes, hippie scum would be more accurate.
Yeah, his new girlfriend is heavily into anime. My aunt calls it his, "Chubby, junkfood eating, robot phase." I always liked her.
I guess that explains the hair.
Oh no, they’re just freaks.
Your stupid dog snatched the meat off the bench today.
Oh Stuart, You rascally canine.
At any rate, we’re having stu for dinner.
That’s fine. I quite like stew.
That teacher friend of yours is an absolute riot. Wow, can that man tell a joke! There was this one, a right corker..
Yes, Dylan has managed to be the life of any party for as long as I’ve known him but Tyler dear, how many times do we have to go through this? You. Can’t. Tell. Jokes.
Nah, this one is sheer brilliance. I can’t go wrong.
What’s better than doing the horizontal folk dance with a 16 year old schoolgirl?
Ha, fantastic. You know it’s funny, because it’s...
Hi, Therese? Your daughter is in Dylan’s class this year right? Yeah, about that...
Oh shit! My alarm didn’t go off. Oh god, I’m late!
Sorry. Must have bumped it last night.
AHH! You bastard, I had a morning meeting with--
With Brad Pitt. Yes, you told me many, many times last night.
... So I said, "Get off my lawn, you old hag, or I’m calling the cops!"
You thought that was funny?
Well, of course. It was a joke...right?
Uh. On a completely unrelated note, there was a call from your mother. She needs bail money.
I’d kill you now, but she’s going to want that pleasure when she gets out.
Beware the lord of the fluorescent monkey penis!
Are you drunk????
I’m having a weekend get together, can I borrow all your buffy and angel dvds?
Lillee is here, 7lb 2oz.
Can you bring a nutcracker?
I .will freeze your chickens :-(
Zoe or Kaylee?
Kaylee or River?
Buffy or Willow?
It’s just not fair!