DADS JOKE SUBMIT


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Help me to remember when I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, that it takes:-
42 muscles to frown
28 muscles to smile
And only four muscles to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth





As suspicious as a monk on a nunnery wall at midnight with a jug of sacrimental wine and a box of condoms





Daughter: Dad, have you had a hair cut?

Dad: Yes Several.





What ticks on the wall?

Ticky-tape.





A prayer for the stressed

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those that I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.





Dad:
Do you want anymore pie with your tomato sauce?
(usually accompanied with a nudge in the arm)





Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick.





What is the shortest poem in the world?

'Fleas'
'Adam had 'em.'



submitted by 'Dad, are we going straight home?'

'No son, we're going to turn some corners'

'Dad, are we going straight home?'

'No son, we're going to turn some corners'

'Dad, are we going straight home?'

'No son, we're going to turn some corners'

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dan@invisiblespiders.com